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raising a rare girl

The Book is Here!

Posted on July 6, 2020 by Heather Lanier

Dear Star in Her Eye Readers, Eight years ago, this very month of July, I started a blog. I named it “Star in Her Eye,” because the baby I was raising had a five-pointed star in the bright blue iris … Continue reading →

The Scrappy Picture Schedule Might Save Us — Parenting in a Pandemic

Posted on March 16, 2020 by Heather Lanier

Our worlds have been thrown upside down. Or at least sideways. Definitely more than slantways.  I’m sitting at my desk, watching a neighbor walk swiftly passed my house in a black puffy jacket. She’s holding her phone horizontal like it’s … Continue reading →

Respect the Intelligences of Kids with Intellectual Disabilities

Posted on April 24, 2019 by Heather Lanier

Adults do this to Fiona all the time. They do it to her more than they do it to my other, typically developing kid. These kinds of recall questions aren’t genuine requests for information. “Fiona, are you hungry?…. What was your favorite part of today?…. Did anything today make you angry?” Instead, these are questions in which the questioner possesses the right answer and is waiting for Fiona to dole it out. Continue reading →

On Riding a Shuttle with a Dictator-Apologist, or How to Be an Activist Without a Blood-Sugar Crash

Posted on March 13, 2018 by Heather Lanier

Here’s a story of my fallibility and my fear, and my figuring out how I might become a halfway-decent ally. At 4:30am this morning, I sat in a hotel shuttle, waiting to head to an airport. With my backpack on … Continue reading →

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We Need To Talk About These #MeToos

Posted on January 8, 2018 by Heather Lanier

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A few months after the #metoo movement shocked not one single woman (because nearly all of us) but perhaps a handful of men, NPR released a year-long investigation on a less reported category of #metoos. It’s a subject you don’t want to … Continue reading →

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The 100th Post, a Book Announcement

Posted on October 12, 2017 by Heather Lanier

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This is the 100th post at Star in Her Eye, so WordPress tells me. Five years ago when I started this blog, it wasn’t with some grand plan in mind. It wasn’t to do what the publishing industry folks call, … Continue reading →

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What We’ve Been Writing

Posted on June 9, 2017 by Heather Lanier

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Fiona and I have been busy writing, but not blog posts. She’s been writing sentences in kindergarten. I’ve been sorting out a book-project, but I’ve also been writing essays and such that come out in fragmented messes, require many drafts, … Continue reading →

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My Kid’s Doing Awesome and It’s Not (Just) Because of Me

Posted on March 5, 2017 by Heather Lanier

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This past week, Fiona came home from kindergarten with the usual notes from her teachers, explaining her day. When I read one note, I envisioned party-style confetti raining down on me. It said, She identified all 26 letters of the … Continue reading →

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Blogging in Post-Election America

Posted on February 17, 2017 by Heather Lanier

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On Valentine’s Day, while I was stirring chili and scrolling through the day’s headlines on my laptop, a comment popped up from a Star in Her Eye reader: “We miss you,” she wrote, “and want to hear from you.” I’m … Continue reading →

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Tumbling in America

Posted on January 10, 2017 by Heather Lanier

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After some hesitation and a brief “will she be welcomed?” conversation with the teacher, I sign Fiona and her sister up for Pre-K Tumbling class. Fiona is a walking, miniature willow tree. Her limbs are thin. Her gait is unstable. … Continue reading →

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Mobile Temple

Posted on December 16, 2016 by Heather Lanier

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“We are all mobile temples of God,” I read this morning from Father Richard Rohr, and then I took the mobile temples that are my two daughters and the mobile temple that is myself, and mobilized all three of us … Continue reading →

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You Won’t Read This Story in the News: A Tale of Kindergarten Inclusion

Posted on November 4, 2016 by Heather Lanier

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Unless you’re a hermit on a mountain somewhere, cut off from all news, you might be getting the impression that the world could soon end, or will for certain end (possibly Tuesday), or maybe even has already ended. I don’t … Continue reading →

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Teaching Disability Studies to a 3-Year-Old

Posted on October 7, 2016 by Heather Lanier

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“Momma! These glasses are broken.” The three-year-old is trying to unfurl those black plastic eye-doctor sunglasses and spread them across her face. “No, they aren’t,” my husband says. He wore them home from his appointment the other day after his … Continue reading →

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The One Thing I Still Mourn: Notes on a Five-Year Anniversary

Posted on October 5, 2016 by Heather Lanier

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When Fiona was three and a half months old, my husband and I received a phone call. I was in the living room, zipping up a suitcase for our first flight with a baby, counting the short hour or two … Continue reading →

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Recent Posts

  • The Book is Here!
  • The Scrappy Picture Schedule Might Save Us — Parenting in a Pandemic
  • Respect the Intelligences of Kids with Intellectual Disabilities
  • On Riding a Shuttle with a Dictator-Apologist, or How to Be an Activist Without a Blood-Sugar Crash
  • We Need To Talk About These #MeToos

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